The
last time I saw Francesca in Italy
(Sept 2000) she told me she could
not remember anything of her life.
I must say that I was very shocked,
so when I found some of her photos
and notice they were fading I decided
to scan them and put them in a web
page so she may have her story for
her children.
When she was a little baby I thought
she was very beautiful??!! Her father
used to play for her Stevie Wonder's
"Isn't She Lovely" day and
night so she was brought up with music:
jazz (she hates it) and Brazilian
music (she hates also). I think she
likes disco as she very much likes
parties. So I took her - when a baby
- for audition for modelling but,
after many attempts, I gave up and
decided that she was only beautiful
for us! This is why I chose this title
for her page.
She never slept through the night
until she was three years old - this
is one of the reasons she has no brother
or sister. Until she was six she was
with her grannies or in Bologna or
in London and she was very much spoiled
by them.My mother gave her more than
100 barbies and used to prepare for
her, fish, chicken and meat and say
"which one do you want?"
to my dismay. Her great-grandmother
in Bologna (she was the first great-grandchild)
also did everything she wanted. In
view of this excessive spoiling she
has more affection for the grannies,
even today. She is very close to her
father's mother Dea, and talks to
her more than she does to me: the
special bond between the very old
and the very young.
I thing I was not a good mother, I
did not notice she could not see properly.
She was in a public school and did
not manage to follow her studies.
It was only when she was moved to
a private school (in front of the
Vatican in St Peter Square) that her
sight deficiency was noticed by the
wonderful teacher-sister Suor Ada.
(Francesca and I are very grateful
for everything she did to help Francesca
to arrive at the same stage as the
other girls.) After Suor Ada's discovery
I felt terrible guilty. Francesca
only caught up with her studies when
she started at University and became
a genius, to the amazement of her
friends and myself. She never liked
to wear glasses, only contact lenses,
because she was bullied at school
for wearing glasses.(She could not
see because she was in an incubator
for so long.)
Her father was a marvellous father
until she started to walk, carrying
her everywhere under his arm like
a bag. But one day she stood on her
legs and went near his much-loved
record collection so this was the
end of the "love affair".
She was the only child I know who
never wrote on the walls, and did
not touch his records.I only imagine
this was because she was so scared
of him.
So one day - when she was six years'
old - I went to get her from school.
She entered the car and said "HE
LEFT ME FOR A BLONDE" and started
to cry like crazy. 'He', Giuseppe,
was a boy at her school.Ilaria was
the blonde. Of course I was not prepared
for this - a foretaste of what was
to come during her teenage years.
I didn't know what to do so I took
her to the hairdresser and had her
hair dyed blonde. Giuseppe went back
to her and she was really happy, but
after a few days she dropped him,
and she has been doing this ever since.
She had orthopaedic boots, and she
wore braces on her teeth, but was
able to remove it for meal and when
she met a boyfriend. When she took
it out she used to wrap it in a tissue
and throw it in the dustbin. I used
to retrieve it but I was sometimes
too late so I had to keep buying a
new one. I threatened to kill her
as they were so expensive. It was
a very hard and bad experience for
both of us and we both hated it.
During her stay at the private school
in front of the Vatican they organised
a visit by the Pope to give a Private
Audience for the children and their
parents. I happened to be in the front
row and when the Pope came along I
asked him to baptise my daughter!
The Pope said "when she is born"
so I said "no, this one".
She was seven years old. The Pope
was not expecting a child of this
age, from a catholic school, who was
not baptised.With HORROR he stepped
back and called his secretary and
then told me to write to them, but
the Pope sent me a letter after a
few weeks saying she was too old.
Forgetting that it was not a god excuse
because Jesus Christ was baptised
when he was 33 years old. So neglecting
to have her baptised because she was
a product of the sixties the Pope
lost the opportunity of regaining
the rest of the "black sheep"
like myself.
Francesca was finally baptised by
a wonderful friend from the Agostiniani
based next-door to her school. She
was also confirmed by him and plans
- when the times comes - to be married
by him. we are still in touch with
him. Her godmother was the Baroness
friend from Spoleto and the godfather
was not only our doctor but my husband's
family friend as he comes from Franca
Villa Fontana province of Brindisi:
Puglie, the city of Francesca's grandfather
Antonio so he and the doctor played
together and are still friends. Of
course I was very moved because he
saved my life many times when I had
problems conceiving. Francesca was
my eighth pregnancy and my only child.
In order to have her I had to take
special care and medication. I started
to lose her at seven months and she
was born during the eighth month.
She was quite the ugliest baby I have
seen - no skin, no hair - and it is
a miracle either of us is alive. I
stayed many hours in the emergency
ward and Prof. Forleo said to me when
I opened my eyes that the entire hospital
was on standby to save us. Francesca's
father told me she was a boy and after
a few days I found out she was a girl.
Francesca's great-grandfather told
me months later that a real woman
has a minimum of three children, out
of respect, I did not answer him!!!
" No way", I thought!!!
Francesca's grandfather Antonio visited
her once in the nursery with Prof.
Forleo: they are really a very strange
family.
When I became pregnant I had a very
nice body, but during the pregnancy
I put on 20 kilos more, and it took
years before I lost it again. In fact
during this time when I was fat, people
thought I was continually pregnat,
and kept asking how my CHILDREN were!!!
Francesca took classic studies at
the Liceo Classico Dante. It was one
of the worst experience of her life
(and mine). She was not bullied by
her friends, thank God, but by the
most dysfunction teachers on earth,
who would not accept her, perhaps
because I was foreign and, with my
poor knowledge of Italian, I did not
have the right words to prevent this
bullying. Francesca was very sensitive
and fragile, also she was the only
child in her class from a broken home
as well as her father not being there
to stop this terrible behaviour. So
very often she would come home crying
like crazy and I told her: "If
you manage to finish this school you
will be ready for life because you
will come across these sort of people
in the outside world and will be better
prepared for dealing with them".
Then one day she was 15 years old
and the door-bell of our flat rang
at 22.15 at night. I answered the
entryphone and a boy asked for Francesca.
I answered " you have got the
wrong door". He was insistent
and I said "there is not any
girl called Francesca". He insisted
again and I don't know why I asked
his name. He said "LUDOVICO"
and I remember having heard this name
during Francesca's telephone calls.
I went completely mad "How dare
you ring my bell at this time!!!"
I started shouting "Don't you
ever dare again. I am going to call
Francesca's father" and went
on screaming.Francesca who was studying
in my bed (she used to sleep with
me since her father left us) was terrified
by my reaction. In my mind she was
still a child and I was not prepared
for her having a boyfriend so I told
her: "the day you go to sleep
in your bed I know something has happened".
She left my bed for good that night.
I spent a week in shock and then I
took her to the doctor, her godfather,
and I left her alone with him. He
gave her some sex education books
and advice on preventing pregnancy
and illness. So when I last saw Ludo
(Sept. 2000) he was very nice and
came all the way from his house to
Trastevere and I was very happy and
touched to see him, and we laughed
a lot about this story, which has
now become a joke. I showed Ludo the
pictures of Tony Bennett exhibition
in London and he knew nothing about
Tony Bennett, Nat King Cole or Frank
Sinatra. Francesca was pulling his
leg and Ludo asked her if she knew
anything about Sinatra. She said,
very proudly, "my father wrote
a book about him!" She is very
proud of her father and loves him
very much. I was a very protective
mother. When I knew she was starting
a relationship with Ludo I called
him to meet him and find out about
him, telling him what time she has
to be home etc.
I also used to say "don't do
this", "wash your teeth";
I never allowed her in the kitchen
in case she got burned - I was a hysterical
mother!!!
She was a supported of the Roman football
club, the Romanist. Then with Ludo
she supported Lazio, then everytime
she changes boyfriends she changes
her football club!!!
I lost Francesca twice while we were
out. The first time was when she was
10 months old in Cagliari, Sardegna.
I left her for five second and when
I looked someone had taken her away.
I started to look for and couldn't
find her (she was in a pram). I asked
around and then a local woman told
me: "Here they steal children
to take to the mountains to look after
the sheep." I couldn't imagine
now and them, Francesca on a mountain
of Sardegna looking after sheep???!!!
She is so sophisticated today that
she would have killed the sheep and
turned them into clothes!!! The shepherds
would have got rid of her very quickly.
She is very clothes-orientated.I eventually
found her at the Information Bureau.
Also, because she hates animals. When
she was born I had two dogs and a
cat, and they used to sit on my lap.
When Francesca came near me they used
to start making a noise at her and
Puzzola that was a Pekinese would
bit her. The cat Tarzan also did not
like her, she was not very sweet to
them. She pulled Tarzan's tail and
kicked him and the dogs!!! Francesca
was cruel a real beast!!! At one point
she was full of bruises and scratched
so I decided to give my beloved pets
away. It was them or her!!!
Until five years ago she could not
go near a dog, them she tried to seduce
a boy that had a beautiful black Labrador.
She couldn't seduce the boy so she
tried to seduce the dog to get to
him, her seduce failure!!! But now
she finds dogs very nice and even
dog-sat Picasso for her father. Incredible
but true!!!
Them I lost HER for a second time.
It was during her teens. For three
long minutes in Omonia Square in Athens,I
Thought someone has seized her for
the "white slave market".
It was terrible. I found her, of course,
and gave her money and the address
of our hotel, but she kept losing
the address and money 10 times a day
so I gave up.
The most unforgettable birthday celebration
for Francesca was the one in Greece,
when she was 15 years old. On that
day we were in Epidaurus Theatre,
and if a tourist goes into the middle
of the amphitheatre and throws a coin
the acoustics are so perfect that
the noise of the coin falling onto
the floor can be heard from everywhere
in the theatre. So Francesca was sitting
on the top of one of the 54 tiers
of seats,to listen to my experience
and take my photo.I didn't want to
do the common tourist thing just throwing
the coin. I decided to do my actress
bit. So, to Francesca's dismay, I
said "Today my darling daughter
Francesca is 15 years old!!!!!! Can
everybody wish her HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
So all the tourists present wished
her: HAPPY BIRTHDAY,Francesca!!! I
said "Isn't this a lovely birthday?"
Can you imagine my emotion and her
in the middle of an archaeological
place, the most beautiful ancient
theatre on earth in Greece, and people
wishing her Happy Birthday with all
the ancient spirits watching us and
clapping. For me, this was the most
incredible birthday that I had given
her. But, of course, she was just
embarrassed with me and she kept saying
"But Mamma, NO!" She has
a complete lack of any sense of humour
and is very touchy. But I still love
this story. In the evening we had
a beautiful Greek dinner.
She went swimming (she hated it);
she went to ballet classes (she hated
it); she studied piano (she hated
it); her first language was English
(she hated it); also Portuguese language
( she hated it).Brazilian people (
she hated them).
In fact one day she came back from
visiting her great-grandparents in
Bologna and she said to us "I
only speak Italian and my name is
Chica" so this was when we started
to call her Chica until six years
ago when I found she was no longer
my little girl, but she is still Chica
to her father, and for my mother!
Now, at the end of her University
studies, I feel very proud of her
achievements and her wonderful,maximum
marks. Her average mark overall is
very high. I could hardly believe
it after all she put me through.
Francesca is very passionate and when
in love suffers a lot, crys a lot,
gets excited and - worse - talks a
lot, is obsessed by, her boyfriends.
After Ludovico I found it very difficult
to follow this bored conversation,
and I feel sorry for the boyfriends
because SHE HURTS!!! But I am always
there for the boyfriends, I like to
be friends with them. They are really
nice, even the boys' parents still
invite her for meals etc, and worry
about her. I do love them, they send
me very funny junk mails and at the
moment I am more in touch with them
than I am with her. This is wonderful
as I am alone here and it is nice
to keep in touch with young people.
Francesca still has friends from her
childhood school who are like family
to her. They are very close, especially
the wonderful twins Raffaella and
Micaela, who stay on the telephone
for ages, giving her all the support
she needs; Valentina and Chiara as
well. They all take her on holidays
- they are really Francesca's family
and, most of all, they are always
there for her. Francesca is really
a very lucky girl with friends, boyfriends
like these, so caring!!!!
